Cancer and the treatment to keep me alive have taken a huge toll on my body. My bowels are full of scar tissue, chemotherapy has weakened my spine, and my liver has almost failed several times.
Whenever I’m out on the street or riding a bus, I worry about people judging my appearance.
Since I started chemotherapy last summer, I’ve gained over two stone in weight from steroids. My face now has a pinkish-red rash, my hair is thinner and turning grey, and I have a large hernia that surgeons may not be able to fix.
So, when I saw Good Morning Britain commentator Narinder Kaur’s post about Kate, Princess of Wales, questioning why Kate looked “aged” and hinting she might be a smoker, I was furious.
I’m on my 30th round of chemotherapy, and I’ve seen both men and women dealing with how cancer has changed their appearance. None of us have had to face the public eye like the Princess of Wales, and honestly, none of us look as good as she does while battling this disease.
On Remembrance Sunday, Princess Kate looked serious and cold as she stood on the balcony—that’s all. I don’t know what version of events Ms. Kaur was watching, but I think everyone in my cancer unit would agree her comment was cruel.
When people started reacting, Ms. Kaur defended herself by saying she was just asking about aging. I was raised to believe it’s rude to ask a woman’s age, so why did Ms. Kaur think it was okay to comment publicly on aging?
She mentioned that her brother didn’t age during his cancer fight, but everyone with cancer is different. Just because her brother looked a certain way doesn’t mean we all will.
I’d love to look like I did before cancer, especially to be as slim as I was at 15, but that’s not my reality. I’m trying to accept my changed body, so when people like Ms. Kaur question someone’s looks, it makes it harder for people like me to feel okay about how we look.
So here’s my advice to Narinder Kaur: next time you have a “genuine question” about someone’s appearance, maybe ask someone close to you instead of using it to stir things up online.
Fighting cancer is hard enough, both physically and mentally, without having public scrutiny. It’s better to think before making such harsh comments.
