Dad stabbed his three kids in throat to ‘stop them screaming’ after his secret was exposed

In August 2016, a devastating tragedy unfolded in County Cavan, Ireland, when a man named Alan Hawe, who was widely seen as a respectable and quiet school vice principal, brutally murdered his wife Clodagh and their three sons, Liam, Niall, and Ryan, before taking his own life.

On the surface, Alan appeared to be a loving husband, a good father, and a trusted figure in his community. People saw him as a devout Catholic, heavily involved in local activities, including the GAA (Irish football) club, and working at Castlerahan National School. His wife Clodagh was also admired in her own right as a kind and caring school teacher at Oristown National School. Together, they looked like a happy and successful family. But that was just the outside view.

Behind closed doors, Alan was hiding disturbing secrets. Clodagh’s sister, Jacqueline Connolly, who has now written a deeply emotional memoir titled Deadly Silence, revealed that Alan had a serious pornography addiction. He browsed dark content, including indecent images of children, and used secret email accounts to hide this activity.

He also spent time on Russian dating websites and was known to secretly dress in Clodagh’s underwear. He put on a false image to the world, pretending to be a perfect man, but he lived a double life filled with shame and secrets. Jacqueline believes that he feared this hidden part of him would be discovered and exposed, and in his mind, that would have been unbearable. He feared the social consequences of people finding out about his private life more than anything else.

On the night of the murders, Clodagh was downstairs peacefully drinking tea and looking at holiday ideas for their family when Alan attacked her from behind. Using a hatchet, a knife, and even his bare hands, he struck her with extreme force.

Jacqueline later explained that Clodagh tried to protect herself, raising her hand, but Alan’s attack was so violent that he almost chopped her hand off. It was a horrifying and personal killing. Jacqueline described it as being done with deep hatred, not like something caused by mental breakdown but by something much darker—something evil.

After murdering his wife, Alan took time to sit down and write a suicide note. He didn’t act in panic. He calmly planned the next steps. He left the weapons used on Clodagh downstairs and picked up another knife before going upstairs to his sons’ bedrooms. All three boys were asleep. Alan knelt on Liam’s chest to stop him from making noise and cut through his windpipe. Liam couldn’t scream.

Niall, who shared a room with Liam, was likely asleep when the attack started, but he had defensive wounds on his hands, which meant he woke up and tried to protect himself. Then Alan went into the room of Ryan, the youngest. Ryan was only six and very small for his age.

During the inquest, the family was told that Alan used a disturbing sawing action to kill Ryan. After killing the children, he placed a duvet over their lifeless bodies and left the knife used on Ryan on his pillow—an action that showed not just brutality, but also a disturbing level of control and intention.

Alan then returned downstairs and wrote a second suicide note, explaining what he had done. In the letter, he said he was sorry, but he also claimed that he had no other choice. He spoke about having two sides to himself—one that enjoyed family life and another that was deeply disturbed. He said it felt like a kind of psychosis. He expressed fear about going back to school because he believed his secrets would come out and everything would fall apart. In his own words, he said he had been “caught red-handed” and was dreading the public shame he expected to face.

Jacqueline later reflected on this note and, with time, came to believe that Alan did not act out of a moment of madness, but instead carried out the murders with chilling clarity and purpose. She said that looking back at the words in the letter, it’s hard not to believe that he enjoyed what he did, and that it was more about power and control than desperation.

Alan had been seeing a counselor for his porn addiction, and there were notes indicating that he had even masturbated in an inappropriate location—possibly at school. The school later insisted there was no evidence he watched pornography during the workday, but Jacqueline and her family believe the fear of being exposed led Alan to plan the horrific act.

After the murders, the house where the family lived was torn down. But the pain and horror remain alive for Clodagh’s family. Jacqueline and her mother Mary have continued to fight for justice. In her memoir, Jacqueline accuses the authorities of not doing enough in their investigation. She believes that the initial inquiry didn’t fully explore the disturbing aspects of Alan’s secret life and is now demanding the Irish authorities release the full findings of a second, more detailed investigation done by the Serious Crime Review Team.

This case is considered the largest murder-suicide in Ireland’s history, and it left an entire nation grieving. But for Jacqueline and the remaining family, it is not just a headline. It is the cruel, heartbreaking loss of a sister, nephews, and a lifetime of memories that were stolen in a single night by a man who fooled everyone with a mask of respectability while hiding the evil that lived within him.